Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
