i don't like sucking hair
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
