Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
