after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
