its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
