there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
