dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
