I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
