Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
