grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
