I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
