So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
