that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
