:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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