did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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