nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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