Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
