i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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