Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
