Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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