New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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