GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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