He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
