ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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