You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
