is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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