My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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