also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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