why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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