The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I just sharted jello shots
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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