I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
