im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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