i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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