i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize