I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
