do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
