The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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