i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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