So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
