I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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