well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I love you. Go after that dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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