oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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