I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
