lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
