margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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