I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
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Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh god it's open bar.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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