he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We were destined to go to rehab together
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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