Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
