a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
