Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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