How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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