Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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