She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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