So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
please come you make the beer taste better
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
