All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
