That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were trust falling into bushes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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